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June 19 2014

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February 22 2014

Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
Dippyblonder
After 2 years I finally found the back piece to one of my remotes. This means more to me than it probably should.
Dippyblonder
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone.
Dippyblonder
The Deadliest Catch would be so much cooler if they’d plant a serial killer on each boat.
Dippyblonder
People always demand to know who farted as if they’ll decide how disgusted to be based on who’s responsible.
Dippyblonder
My super power is finding out about really cool shit after it happens.
Dippyblonder
Reminder, fellas: bra cups come in sizes AA, A, B, C, D, DD, OMG, WTF.
Dippyblonder
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.
Dippyblonder
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
Dippyblonder
Based on their music alone, I think it’s safe to say that Adele and Drake were hurt by the same man.
Dippyblonder
How stupid are some people to require instructions on a bottle of shampoo to tell you not to freaking drink it.
Dippyblonder
That moment when you hear your mom mention your name on the phone and all you think is: what the hell is she saying about me now?
Dippyblonder

February 21 2014

I shaved my legs and now they feel like dolphins.
Dippyblonder
Reposted bymari100 mari100
I shaved my legs and now they feel like dolphins.
Dippyblonder
Save your breath. You’’ll need it to blow up your date!
Dippyblonder
Save your breath. You’’ll need it to blow up your date!
Dippyblonder
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
Dippyblonder
If your ex texts you, it’s probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.
Dippyblonder
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